So, this whole positive thing is tough.

Yesterday,  I did well. Lots of positive self talk. Deep breathing. Little bitching. I was proud.

Today, started out rocky. Slept later than planned. A little groggy. But I had work to get done. My program engineers needed finance data for a new report (that they were none too excited about) and by golly, I was going to get it done.

After lunch, I started getting suspicious that none of the kids (program engineers) had mentioned it, but kept chugging along. At 6:30, I finish up, send an email with the data and begin to wrap up to go home when the most naive of the children stops at my desk.

PE: Are we doing PMRs tomorrow?
Me: Well, I’ve been working all day on these charts so we better.
PE: Oh well our boss told us they may not happen during our weekly meeting and never got back to us. I’ll go find out.

So, I continue to shut down and gather my belongings and head out the door. As I get to my car, I see the PE going home as well.

Me: Did you get ahold of your boss?
PE: Yep, we aren’t doing them tomorrow.
Me: Are you f $@king kidding me? Have a great evening.

My coworker busted his ass yesterday to get files updated for me today. I busted my ass today to get files ready for tomorrow. Meanwhile the whole damn thing had been postponed.

If this was a rare occurrence, I might let it slide. But the communication is so horrendous on a daily basis, it infuriates me.

I drove home, fuming, singly “shine on” by Florida Georgia Line very loudly to calm myself.

If I put the PPP into action, I’m not bitter because it’s done. Whenever we do have this meeting, my part is done. Template is set. Everything is linked. Done and done.

My God am I trying to hold onto that little nugget.

Tomorrow may bury the PPP.