My Tude

It has been quite a week in Pamland. Did something tragic happen? Nope. Did you get fired? Not yet. Did you have a great big pitty party for yourself and let it consume your entire world? Why, yes, yes I did.

It has literally taken me over a week to get rid of this tude that is just ruining my day. And it’s my own doing. It’s my own crazy, think-to-much brain that has taken over my entire life and making me feel awful! Besides my tude, I have the most unrealistic expectations ever! Some examples….

I finished up the Advocare 24-day challenge. I lost 3 lbs and a total of 20 inches – while packing, moving, training for a half marathon, carb loading for a half marathon, coaching, working and adjusting to these major life changes. My goal was 10 pounds, 12 inches. I lost 5 inches off my waist and 4 off my hips. I am visibly thinner. Yet, I continued to beat myself up about my results. (FYI – there is a more detailed post about the last part of my challenge in the works. Stay tuned.)

I walked (with approximately 20 minutes of jogging) a half marathon. I was completely mortified that my picture was on the front page of the paper. Hey fatty, let’s be in the paper. YAY! But I was the fatty in the paper for FINISHING A HALF MARATHON. Not for being a fatty. I wanted to run the entire things. Sure thing Pammie! Sit on your ass while unemployed from September (my first half marathon) until January. Then get a job and wonder why this major life change is interfering with your training plan. Then stress over not training, and stop training. Then expect to run a full half marathon, when it’s 4,000 degrees, with 35,000 of your closest friends. (FYI – #2 – A recap of this episode in my life is coming as well, stay tuned!)

Unrealistic expectations. Check.
Crazy, uncontrollable, irrational thinking. Check.
Stress. Check.
Evilness to those that love me. Check.
Avoidance of most friends. Check.

Until this weekend, I was a basket case. I literally stomped my feet like a child who did not get her way. (More than once.) However, this tude is gone and new plans are in the works. I’ll share more soon…..stay tuned.



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